My Forged Wedding: Yuta Line

My Forged Wedding

I don't think I've ever seen this drawing anywhere
in the game.

Available for iPhone and probably iPad??? I mean, I just own an iphone so I'm mostly assuming here. Cost's $3.99 currently to play each line, though you can do the beginning for free.

So my first play through of My Forged Wedding, I did not realize it took place in Japan (since most romance sims either take place in like FICTIONAL NEVERWHERE or a pirate ship [on that note, PIRATES IN LOVE, COMING TO BE REVIEWED SOON!]) so I named my character Abigail Hawthorne.

So Miss Hawthorne is a woman who was born and raised in Kyushu and never left it. yep. I'm totally sure she was. That sounds like a woman from Japan. Especially Kyushu, which is stereotyped to be very stubborn and conservative.

Anyway, meet Yuta:

Lookat dat ickle baby face.

He's the shota of our group of boys to select, but when I presented my friends with a selection of the ones I'd be willing to date (not involving glassy-eyed Ren who is conceivably on drugs OR my uncle because GOD DAMNIT I DON'T WANT TO FUCK MY UNCLE) and someone immediatley latched on to the description of "easily jealous comedian."

So on that note, Yuta is a comedian. Also, in a lot of his pictures he looks like he's maybe 12. Fortunately, in many of them he doesn't.

Also he has really fucking stupid hair.

I have no idea what he's doing here. "Mm yeah baby.
I got my shirt all unbuttoned for you girl. How about we
talk about my hair while staring at the city scape."

The reason Abigail (or [insert player name here]) has to live with Yuta and pretend to be his wife is...Yuta's a member of a manzai, serving as the boke. That's, translated for all of you people who wasn't a teenage fan of shoujo manga, a comedy duo, with the boke being the funny/doofy guy (the tsuokkomi being the straight man). And one night he was drunk, and on the way home Abigail tripped and he caught her. The paparazzi caught it on tape and ZOMG THIS MEANS THEY HAVE TO LIVE TOGETHER TO FILM A SHOW.

Because Japan's treatment of its television stars is kind of bizarre but adorable.

So you move in with Yuta because you and he are going to film a television show where he's the poor boyfriend dealing with a mean angry wife who yells at him and demands he do everything. And to film a show you thus have to live together so that you can act better. Or something.

Yuta appreciates me you guys.

Abigail needs to keep a job though because even though the Angry Wife show is super duper popular according to the director, you're not making any money from it. Does Japan have labor unions or labor laws? Because if so, I think it's about time one of my choices became "stomp to one and get my money I am very much owed" or something. Hell, even Yuta who is not only the star of the show BUT ALSO eventually ends up super famous and popular with his tsukkomi can't seem to make any money.

Also, I won't go into the sexism behind the whole ANGRY WIFE LOL THAT GUY IS SUCH A PUSSY FOR HAVING AN ANGRY WIFE I FEEL SORRY FOR YOU I WISH YOUR WIFE WAS JUST A STAY AT HOME GOODY GOODY.

That is a story for another day and for someone more eloquent than me.

Then again, this is a game where your super sexy uncle (ugh I'm going to have to do that line eventually aren't I. IT WOULDN'T BE SO BAD IF HE DIDN'T LOOK DOOFY. Also, I think I'd like that line more if they just embraced it for what it was. I'm like that a lot  -- I like things when they embrace what they are, but the game keeps doing that "He's not REALLY my UNCLE!" thing and I'm like "JUST FUCKING SAY HE'S YOUR UNCLE." Sorry. Tangent.)

Anyway, in the end everything works out. Yuta goes on to become famous. And he eventually comes back to your uncle's bar where you're then working (despite your uncle being a CEO of a telecommunications company, he obviously must own a bar that you work at that also only caters to your uncles six best friends from elementary school OKAY LOOK DATING SIMS DON'T HAVE THE BEST PLOTS), gets down on one knee, and notes he'd like to make his forged wedding to you real.

The end blah blah blah.

If they don't have babies I'm murdering something.

My face has to be about the size of the palm of my hand.
Seriously. Look how small my fucking face is under my thumb.

SCORES

Each of the below categories is on a scale of 0 to 10 (0 being the worst, 10 being amazing). Thus the max total for a game is 40 points. "Rating" involves me giving a 0-10 rating depending on how NSFW the game is. 0 would mean it's so chaste there's nothing of the sort that would be even...remotely ...touchable. Or whatever. 10 would mean there's some hardcore raunchy sex. "Rating" is not calculated into the overall score.

NSFW Rating: 4: You do kiss a lot on the balcony (which I approved of) at the end of the game, and he grasps you and there's a moment where you snuggle near each other in bed, but otherwise the hottest and heaviest it gets is eating hot pot around a table.

--

Graphics: 8: Honestly, there wasn't a single graphic thing that made me twitch. Sure, it's no graphical wonder (which is what I keep a 10 for) but it was good--even pretty sometimes. Marked down just a bit because of the tiny face.

Gameplay: 6: To be honest, it's a visual novel. When you get them, you get what you pay for -- a lot of text to read and the occasional choice. This is better than, say, A Prince's Proposal for while you only get two choices, they're quite different and have notable differences good/bad when you choose them. There's not much in the way of strategy, but again. You get what you pay for with a vn.

Story: 8: (Eeeh, there were some big plot holes or things that confused me. Those might just be cultural differences. Honestly, though, I can see where girls would enjoy this route (unlike Edward's route in a Prince's Proposal. FUCKING EDWARD UGH). It just wasn't for me, but others out there would probably enjoy it a hell of a lot.

Fun: 9: Honestly, while I didn't squeal at this route, there were a few moments where I got super excited (or at times pissed) at something that happened, so y'know what, it was pretty fun and pretty well written.

Overall: 31 / 40 - C+

also, he proposes to you on a balcony. Did I mention that?